
I’m an emotional rationalist. I like everything rational even if it doesn’t give me a straight idea of a subject. At the same time I like doing what my emotions tell me to do. Up to the point that it get’s irrational. But than I can rationalize the irrational and everything works out fine.
Unless I start thinking about love; love is rational nor irrational. Writing, thinking, talking or discussing love is impossible to me, and perhaps to anybody.
I need to write this post, so never again I have to write about love on my blog. I acknowledge love is important. You can’t do without. Love doesn’t mean you have to be with someone, solitude can easily be combined with love, and in most cases love is the reason for this solitude.
I like hormones. They are a clear explanation for why we ‘feel’ we need to do things. They are a clear explanation for love. Procreation. Nature is a firm and stable system that kept our species alive for more than 200.000 years. It works fine. Culture is the only thing capable of somewhat interfering with what nature makes us do. Thinking is not really synonym to culture, although they both exist because of language.
“Gott würfelt nicht!”
Language is our first interference with nature. It was a result of our species trying to stand up to the physical threats there where at the time. Communication was our strength. Thus the build up of our language had a purely causal ground. If we do this, that will happen. If I say ‘danger’, you will run. Our language system is build up, like we experience natures events. Language gave birth to thought and culture, both making them very causal systems. Language is a great mechanism to lead a thinking life. But we all know there’s something wrong when we start to feel. We get confused, all of us, the most confused are those that rationally are the most intelligent.
Up until the beginning of the 20th century we had a good understanding of physics. Nature is physics and chemistry. To put things in an easy light, chemistry is physics at its smallest. And even Einstein wouldn’t believe that physics at its smallest may have no causality. ‘Gott Würfelt nicht,’ said Einstein – God doesn’t play dice. Einstein couldn’t or wouldn’t believe that at the ground of things, in the purest of ways, everything is chaos.
Our body is physical and chemical. Our hormones are chemical. In the pure rationalization of our lives, from even when we are born, causal systems are put up by our language. This language does not support chaos. We understand our body and mind in the way that most of the time it does what we want it to do. Free will has a base of rationality. Free will implies that we are in control of our body and mind. Where is free will when love is injected into our brains? One might think we are still in control. But in retrospect we all know we didn’t think as clearly as we hoped.
Love is not a bug, it’s not a code interfering with the code that is our language. If it where, some of us would be able to crack and reverse it. Love doesn’t act within a causal system, such as our language. Thus we can’t access love as if it where a feeling or an idea. Take ‘pain’ for example: we can overcome pain with thought. It will still be there, but we can function up to a certain level – when it get’s too horrifying adrenaline kicks is and we’ll function on that. Love won’t let us do that. Emotions are basically very simple reactions to outside input. I can make you laugh. I can make you feel pain. I can make you sad. But I can’t make you feel love. Somehow love exists within us and shows itself when it wants to.
If the base of nature, the smallest of particles, in essence is chaotic and without structure. Maybe that is where love lives.